A Festivus for the rest of us

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A couple of years ago I bought a bank. You probably did too. Ever since I have been paying out generous bonuses, none more so than the £1m I gave to Stephen Hester yesterday for kindly running the Royal Bank of Scotland so well.

It strikes me that across the banking spectrum they still don't geddit (other than the cash of course). Without our money they would have no jobs.

Why no politician said "no bonuses until every tax-payer penny is returned" I'll never know.

Apparently if we don't pay such good bonuses then all the talent will leave. Really? Well I say, let it go. Good luck going around with your super talent trying to get a new job.

The first question I would ask in an interview would be: "How much did your bank

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