BIBA Annual Conference

High-rolling brokers pitched up in Glasgow last month for the British Insurance Brokers' Association annual conference, which did not pass without event.

On Thursday evening, many delegates decamped to the foyer of the Hilton hotel for a pleasant late - if music-free - evening. One member of the trade press decided to remedy the situation by playing a few tunes on the gorgeous resident baby-grand piano - only to find that it was locked.

Despite this noble cause being aided by PR guru Ian Barrett, no amount of coaxing could persuade the concierge to unlock the lid, which could not be opened, he said, for insurance reasons! He would not even divulge the name of the insurer, who was quite possibly present, to extend the cover for the evening. If the relevant parties could take note and ensure this does not happen again, PB would be most grateful.

Billy Connolly popped into the Hilton that same evening, which saw one of Motor Trade Solutions' young female employees succumb to a severe bout of being star-struck. We are assured the hand that shook Billy's will never again be washed.

By the final day of the conference, bereft creatures had subsumed delegates' bodies, which drifted in search of hangover cures. Various remedies were on offer from smoothies to thimbles full of port - even a stick-on energy patch. However, Pam Renfrew of Groupama told corporate services director Paul Picknett the patch would not work on him after seeing the instructions, which read: "Pop one of our unique patches onto your arm. Wait a few minutes and stop feeling sleepy - unless you're one of those horny dwarfs." Overheard hopes mention of this will not firm up Paul's threat of sending Pam her P45.